How bout we take it one day at a time?

Finding time to do what I'm supposed to be doing gets harder every day. But I'm getting the hang of it... kinda.

Right now, I should be taking a shower, but I'm sitting and writing instead. A while ago I was supposed to be studying, but I saw a movie insted. In the morning I was supposed to go to school, but my stomach hurt pretty bad and I decided to stay home instead. I am going to study, just later. I am going to shower, just later. I will go to school, just tomorrow... oh wait, not tomorrow because on wednesdays I have no school. But I have to study, because the tests I have this week are pretty intense. I found out yesterday while I was studying for one of them that I actually like the subject. If only I had payed attention before I would have found the process of going throught that class a lot more... interesting? I guess.

But really, I figure I just have to take the time to soak in the good side of everything. Although I have a hard time doing that for math. But my mom wisely said that whatever I do there will always be something I don't like about it... so I figure I have to pay more attention to the parts that I do enjoy and that ought to make it all better.

The problem is, I think, that I over think everything too much. I spent so much time thinking about things that I miss out on them when they're actually happening. So I'm trying to give my brain a break, let it rest, just do what I'm doing.

I have to be hard on myself and tell me every morning "one day at a time", otherwise I'll be driving to school and I'll be thinking of whatever I'll be doing in like 3 years. I'm a strange type of overachiever... I'm the type of overachiever that because I'm figuring out a way to overachieve I might collapse while actually doing what I'm trying to achieve and the best possible outcome (which I know I can reach) is messed up.

So I'm slowing down now. My goal today is to get through this day having enjoyed it, having done the best I could and knowing that He's in charge of me.

The interesting part of all this slowing down bit is that slowing down does not mean not doing anything. It means exactly the opposite. It means just do what you know that you have to do right now. Then you'll worry about doing what you have to do tomorrow. Baby steps... It's all about knowing how to baby step.