into the twists and tangles. rambles.

He querido escribir tanto por tanto tiempo pero no lo he hecho, que ahora que sí quiero escribir (y que "tengo tiempo", which is retarded really because I do have time, I just suck at managing it) no se de qué escribir. Makes sense?
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Most of the time you think you have yourself all figured out, when really, you spend so much time and effort hiding yourself that when you want to take a look back inside, the way to your heart is so twisted and tangled, you can barely breathe.

Barely breathing. That's actually an interesting subject for a quick flashback...

Five years ago, a dear friend told me that she had prayed to God something weird. She asked God that she could need Him more than she needed air, and that whenever she wasn't looking for Him, she could feel like she would if she stopped breathing.

A week later, she started complaining about shortness of breath.

... so, back to the subject.

When you finally get a glimpse of what is behind the twists and tangles, you're in for a big surprise. You had it all wrong. They were right. But it doesn't really matter... He was right. So, now what are you going to do? Which is basically the important question. What are you going to do?

What am I going to do?

Once He starts showing you behind the curtain, if you don't step up and challenge yourself to go through that particular curtain, you won't ever get to see the curtain that's behind.
I personally think you should. Or at least I should. Step up and challenge, that is.

There's this quote another friend gave me once in a letter she wrote to me. There's only two important letters I've lost. That one is one of those.

"Todo cambio atemoriza, en especial aquellos que soñamos con realizar. No hay garantías, solo la ilusión de alcanzar lo que deseamos. Cada paso es un salto al vacio pero tambien a la posibilidad de realización."

I hold on to that when I find myself before a twist or tangle. Then I venture in, hoping against all odds that I'll find my way.

He always gets me.