thoughts about teaching

It's always the things that remain unsaid that matter the most. I've decided to begin saying many of those unsaid things, and I won't bug people asking them to read. Whoever reads will read for a reason. I'm just going to write.


For many years I've wanted, contrary to what many friends and acquaintances might think, to be a teacher. The thing is, I believe that there is power in the art of teaching (yes, I will make an art out of everything I do... I guess it lets me believe then that what I'm doing has a chance to be beautiful)

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I just dictionared "art".... which I've found to be:

the expression or application of human creative skill and imagination, typically in a visual form such as painting or sculpture, producing works to be appreciated primarily for their beauty or emotional power

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I also believe that a teacher has the power to change a student’s life. He's a decision inducer, granted with the skill to alter every aspect in the heart and mind of their students. A teacher can make or brake. He can be one out of two things: some other guy or girl who can teach or he/she can choose to be an inspiration. Teachers always have the "extra mile" set before them, door wide open for them to step right through and make something out of their students.

The "magic" about all this is that it is true. Think about it. There's at least one teacher in your life that has defined you in more than one way. Someone that challenged you to bring out the best in you. More importantly, someone who believed. Believed in you, in the fact that you are not but what you choose to be, and someone who believed that you had it in you to make the right decisions. (that someone doesn’t necessarily have to have a degree in education)

I want to be that for kids… teenagers mostly. Kids no one else cares about. Kids facing life thinking there's no point for existence. Kids with a longing for something real in which to hold on to...

BUT... oh yes, there's always a but...

In order for me to be able to be that to others, I need to "turn my thoughts within and find myself" like my Oriental Express fortune cookie said once... Not because I can find anything relevant IN me, but because I need to determine who I am and what I believe... otherwise I can't help people find their own way.

For the last two years, I've been determined to find out who I am. Because I believe that who I am makes who I'll be... not in the sense that I'm doomed and whatever mess I'm in right now, there's no fixin'... more like I know if I find out who I am, who I really am, who I was MADE to be, I will be able to live that way... And boy have I messed up in the process. There are days where I think there's no possible manner in which I can be made right again... then comes amazing grace and saves me from myself. The fatalist. The dreamer who sometimes gets lost in her own dreams. Nightmares really, but whatever. (you see!? that's what I was referring to with the fatalist)

Anyways. Finding myself has been a process I'm not yet through understanding... I don't really think I've begun to understand what all that implies. But I think that in the middle of all the FREAKING mess I've made, there's a way out...

(Isn't it amazing, my ability to ramble on about so much and so little? That happens when I want to say so much but most of the time say nothing)

I truly believe God is the answer, as clichéd and trite that might sound. However, God being the answer does not mean that "the answer" is easy to comprehend and grip... Nooo, not a chance. Part of the beauty of God being "the answer" is something I heard someone say before (and its biblical) "It is the glory of God to conceal a thing, but the glory of a king to find it out."

So made kings and empresses, lords and princesses we set out... more like, I set out, to find the glory God concealed in me.

Whenever I find it, or during the time I find bits and pieces of it, I will then be able to pass it on. Hoping to inspire the hearts of others to search the glory of God hidden in them... that glory which will tell them where they belong: side by side... of The Almighty Lover of our souls.

That, among other things is why someday I want to be a teacher.